Its been two weeks since coming back from Washington DC and I am surprised how far away my former life seems to me now. Leaving the political hub of the American capitol, I came back to Malaysia energized to replicate the important bits of my DC life in my home country: a church that seeks to be relevant in this culture, friends and acquaintances passionate for God’s heart for justice, the spirit of volunteerism and political awareness that was all around me. In the past two weeks since, I have confronted a common theme among my friends during mamak and mahjong sessions, open house and even, during clubbing events-a general resignation to the socio-political conditions back home…one of “this is how life is here in Kuala Lumpur (KL)”, and the nascent ambitions among my peers for a better life in all its different stripes. Mind you, I know I am being unfair in summing up the depth and complexity of decisions that we go through-as minorities (religious, ethnic, etc) in this country. And the idea of risk is quite frightening, particularly as well-bred middle-class inheritors (of privilege, of class, of education) that most of my friends and I are. However, as I hear the grim tones, the statistics of Malaysians wanting to leave the country, the overall pessimism by friends, family, compatriots …I am reminded of the struggles that will always accompany this faith: the inward groaning described in Romans 8:23 “as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons [and daughters], the redemption of our bodies” in the future. It is our calling to be uncomfortable amongst secularism, it is our duty to strike a balance between the increasingly blurred lines of our tenets and the values of our postmodern world, etc. But we need to remember that this “foolish” struggle–i.e. the path that makes no sense to anyone else of this world– can only succeed if we believe, wholeheartedly, that we can only find complete fulfilment in something that is not of this world. And in following the call, we have to give up many dreams that have been laid out for us..
[addendum] In a famous Yeats poem, one line said something like…”Being poor I have nothing, but I have spread my dreams under your feet, Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.” I am currently gripped by that idea of willingly trading one’s previous ambitions in exchange for something more..a something that is vague and uncertain but resting at the footholds of an infinite glorious Creator.
Filed under: Religion, The Present, self
an awakening in the days of reckoning that serves a reminder to me that I need to be a bender in a society, if I was to follow the sender. The One who goes forth before us, always. And little did I know that focus is being shaved off, perhaps suddenly, till common mind and like conversations takes place reminding me that we need to always be after the father’s heart. Especially tough, considerably rough, an annoying cough during the despair; that the country is far from repair but as salt and night – we need to prepare (daily) in our focus to be relevant in our circle shadows of today. Thank you.